Going out to dinner shouldn’t require a strategy.
But for families living with dementia, something as ordinary as sharing a meal in a restaurant can become complicated enough that they stop going all together.
In Columbia County, Marty Coyne experienced this firsthand as his wife’s frontotemporal degeneration progressed and he watched their world begin to contract.
“Our circle of life was getting smaller and smaller,” he said. After several difficult experiences, they stopped going out to eat, worried about bothering other diners.
Coyne and Hazley Yeager, a speech-language pathologist who specializes in supporting people living with dementia, worked with the Bloomsburg Library to create an alternative approach.
Their Purple Plate initiative began two years ago with about 10 people gathering at an Applebee’s where they knew a server who would approach the group with patience and compassion. The idea was simple: create a dining experience where people living with dementia and their care partners could enjoy a meal without worrying about how others might react.
While speaking to a local Rotary group about dementia initiatives, Coyne mentioned Purple Plate. Afterward, Andrew Pruden approached him in tears.
Pruden’s father loved going out to dinner. During one of their last restaurant visits, his father threw a hamburger patty that struck a woman at another table. The family never took him out to dinner again before he died.
As it happened, Pruden owned The Inn at Turkey Hill Brew Pub in Columbia County and offered to host Purple Plate dinners. Today, Purple Plate events at the Brew Pub can draw more than 40 people.
Phil Coyne, left, poses with his wife and their children at a Purple Plate dinner at The Inn at Turkey Hill Brew Pub in Columbia County.
“Purple Plate events are moments of normal for people who are looking for them anywhere they can find them,” Coyne said. “It’s a chance to exhale in public where no one is going to judge you, or care if your loved one asks the same question for the fourth time.”
Restaurant staff participate in Dementia Friends information sessions to better understand dementia and the experiences of care partners. The approach also focuses on thoughtful adjustments that make the dining experience more welcoming and comfortable. Background noise is kept low. The group has a private room and bathrooms, and volunteers join tables to help everyone remain engaged.
Coyne said the most important thing being served isn’t the meal.
“The conversations at each table are like music to my ears,” he said. “People just enjoying being around each other and unguarded. Not worrying what’s wrong in their worlds, just having one of those moments of normal.”
Efforts like Purple Plate are part of a broader movement across Pennsylvania to help people living with dementia remain connected to their communities.
A participating restaurant displays a Dementia Friendly Dining sign to let guests know their staff are committed to creating a welcoming experience for people living with dementia and their caregivers.
The Pennsylvania Department of Aging recently renewed its contract with the Jewish Healthcare Foundation (JHF) for a seventh consecutive year to continue Dementia Friendly PA and Dementia Friends PA through June 2027. The statewide effort supports communities in developing local approaches to becoming more welcoming and inclusive of people living with dementia and their care partners.
In Lackawanna County, Mike Castellano of the United Way of Lackawanna, Wayne, and Pike counties, is applying that idea to restaurants in a different way.
Through Dementia Friendly Lackawanna, Castellano is helping restaurants serve people living with dementia during their regular hours rather than through designated events.
“It really comes down to a cultural shift rather than creating a separate experience,” Castellano said. “The goal is to make the environment more welcoming without having to identify or label anybody.”
That can mean offering a quieter table, giving more time to order, helping narrow an overwhelming number of meal choices, or simply recognizing that a customer may need a little more patience.
Four Lackawanna County restaurants are now participating or being onboarded to the Dementia Friendly Dining program: Little Pizza Heaven, Pasquale’s Pizzeria and Family Restaurant, Taylor Deli, and Fratelli’s Pizza & Pasta House. Similar to the Purple Plate initaitive, participating restaurants provide staff with a Dementia Friends information session.
For Castellano, the lesson from the early work has been to keep the approach simple while taking the time to get the model right.
“The small changes make someone feel seen, it makes them feel respected, it makes them feel comfortable. And those are free (to implement),” he said.
As the program develops, Castellano would like to bring caregivers into restaurant conversations to share what has made dining experiences easier —or harder —for their families. Eventually, he hopes the model can spread beyond Lackawanna County
Across Pennsylvania, the Dementia Friendly PA network now includes almost 34,000 Dementia Friends, more than 300 volunteer Dementia Friends Champions, and 21 Dementia Friendly Communities.
“The continued growth of Dementia Friendly PA reflects meaningful, community-led work happening across the Commonwealth. It is a strong, effective program that is helping communities better support people living with dementia and their caregivers, reduce stigma, and foster inclusion.”
Over the next year, Dementia Friendly PA will continue expanding to include engaging Spanish-speaking communities, exploring shorter Dementia Friends sessions, and developing resources for workplaces, businesses, and other organizations.
For families though, the impact of dementia friendly initiatives can be much more personal.
Coyne said a dementia diagnosis can leave a family feeling as though it has “landed on a deserted island and all you see in any direction is water.”
A restaurant cannot change that diagnosis. But a place where people understand – where a repeated question, a difficult moment, or a little extra time to make a decision isn’t cause for embarrassment – can make that island feel less isolated.
And for a few hours, a family or caretaker's circle of life can get a little bigger again.
Dementia Friendly Dining Initiatives
Purple Plate attendees talk over a meal.
Pasquale's Pizzeria and Family Restaurant in Archibald, Pa. is one of four restaurants in Lackawanna County area offering dementia-friendly dining.
Staff at Pasquale's pose with their Dementia Friend certificates.
